We've heard it all. And in the moment that "thoughtful" piece of unsolicited advice/encouragement is annoying, but now we can look back and it's just funny.
My favorite is:
"It will happen."
Every time someone says that to me I just want to scream, "You can't promise me that!!!"
What's yours? What is the one sentence you wish you could erase from the "fertile" repertoire?
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"Just relax" would have to top the list.
ReplyDeleteI also hate it when people refer to getting pregnant as "being blessed." I understand why people say this and feel that way, but it seems to imply that those of us who cannot achieve pregnancy easily, or at all, are either cursed or unworthy/undeserving of being "blessed."
A friend once told me this when I finally came out of the IF closet to her, "At least IF won't kill you like Cancer will." Ummm...Thanks? I think? How do you even respond to something that stupid?
ReplyDelete~Aly
www.infertilityoverachievers.com
"Why don't you just adopt?"
ReplyDeleteOk - since they are giving babies away for free, I'll jump right on that!
My (least) favorite:
ReplyDelete"Maybe you weren't meant to have kids"
You wouldn't say this to a diabetic... You have diabetes? Maybe you weren't meant to have insulin.
Or to a cancer patient... Oh, you have lung cancer? Maybe you weren't meant to have lungs.
Really??? People are so stupid sometimes.
Hurtful/stupid things I've been told:
ReplyDelete"Are you having enough sex?" (um, yeah)
"Some people just aren't meant to have kids." (STFU)
"What are you doing wrong?" (from my mother. thanks, mom)
"Maybe you deep down just don't want kids." (~sigh~)
"This is a blessing in disguise; kids are too much trouble and I'd never had one if I hadn't gotten pregnant accidentally." (idiot friend)
"You just have to stop TRYING. That's what is messing you up. Take a vacation/break/lose your job/buy a convertible and you'll be pregnant in an instant!" (ditto)
I've had all the above posters' comments too. Adopt, relax, not worthy... it amazes me how stupid and insensitive people can be.
Oh! Forgot the most hateful thing ever said to me by my MOTHER:
"I hope you never have children because you don't deserve them!"
She was mad at me for not running errands with her because I wasn't changing my plans to suit her... and this is with her knowing I was trying and having problems getting pregnant.
Oh honey, I am so sorry that your mother has said those things to you!
ReplyDelete"You are the cause of your pain right now."
ReplyDelete"Kids aren't that great anyway"
Assholes.
The perils of announcing TTC too early. . now all I get is:
ReplyDelete"When are you going on vacation? You need to get away and it will happen. This is how WE got pregnant. . . "
Or, how about a facebook acquaintance inquiring about pregnancy status (when are you having kids?) all to get you in on this "magic, miracle-cure-all-that-helps-with-infertility and-cures-cancer-juice". Yup. Get in on the pyramid scheme for this antioxidant juice and you will get pregnant! Just send me your info and a check and you'll be all set. ..
I'm commenting on this post 5 months after the fact, but I just had to add that one of my least favorite one-liners is "if it's meant to be it'll happen".
ReplyDeleteAnd let's not forget, "everything happens for a reason".
Bleh.