Monday, September 19, 2011

Trophy Child

I was just reading another blog and one of the posters referred to her new pregnancy as a "fuck trophy." I get that she's trying not to be an entitlement parent who reveres the child as the second coming; but this is FAIL. If you don't appreciate your "trophy," why don't you give it up to someone who will?

If anyone used that term in front of me, I would let them have it with both barrels. It is a supremely insulting and dismissive way to refer to a child. I keep trying to see the humor in the term and failing. For those of us who would do anything to be awarded, "the fuck trophy," as she put it, it's extremely aggravating to see a pregnancy dismissed so thoughtlessly.

Here's a clue, honey. You didn't get pregnant because you did something right that deserved an award, (as a trophy would imply), you didn't get pregnant because your love is so special and magical. You got lucky. Whether you appreciate it or not, you got lucky. That's why pregnancy is called a gift, not an award, because it isn't merit-based, or deserved, or earned. It's given. Appreciate what you've been given, because many people aren't given what you have. Many people do have to earn it or buy it, with monitoring, and charting, and proving their worth to a social worker, and spending money like water. And, newsflash, they don't refer to it nearly as dismissively because they appreciate what they went through to get it.


  1. Riotous applause for this post! I would have a VERY difficult time keeping my mouth shut if I heard someone say that. Yes, those less-lucky among us (fertility-wise, anyway) DO appreciate our babies, no matter how they came to us. Too bad not everyone does.

  2. So true...she has no idea what a lot of people have to go through to get that trophy!


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