Friday, February 4, 2011

Pregnant fertiles crave beer; Infertiles just crave a baby

So I log on facebook to find this post from a pregnant coworker.  Now, I do like this girl, and she's been pretty good about not complaining the whole pregnancy, always posts how thrilled she is to be having a baby -- but this one really got to me (mainly comment #3):

I would love nothing more than to be pasty white, swollen ankles, not see my feet, and not drink for the rest of my life--if it meant I could be pregnant RIGHT NOW!!!

I guess this was pretty innocent, she even comments that she's "beyond excited", which is great.  But the main reason I chose to post this was that COMMENT....geez!!!  Who suggests beer to a pregnant woman?? She said she would like a beer (Abita strawberry), but she didn't mean right now.  For the record I think that poster was a guy.  But still....ugh!!!

If I am posting too much lately, just say so.  I just really really love to vent.  Thanks for "listening" and all your comments!!

UPDATE:  I just read this on FB:  "In complete shock.  I'm having a boy now."  -- Someone says "what?" She says "1st ultrasound was wrong. I saw the proof today"

Of course people are commenting and telling her not to stress out etc...  She says "It wouldn't be so bad if the entire nursery weren't done and so pink and beautiful."  And according to what I've been hearing from her SIL (who I work with), it's a TON...I mean a TON of pink.  Custom made bed, the works. 

To be honest I kind of felt like it was payback to the fertiles. LOL  C'mon, I'm not that evil am I?  She's still having a healthy little baby when most of us can't even get pregnant!   Okay, okay, I feel a little bit bad for her...but it's nothing compared to going through what we've all been through. :( 


  1. Post more I say :D
    And yeah, UGH at that comment. Who the hell suggests to a pregnant woman to have a damn beer?

  2. I hate women who want to get their pregnancies over so they could drink, and that ticks me off someone would even suggest drinking even one beer while pregnant! Can we smack them?

  3. A guy would say something that stupid.

  4. I'm not going to lie...I have beer and wine cravings (even though I was really not a big drinker to start)...but never would I post it on fb and never would I actually drink anything!!! But you would be shocked at how many people tell me "oh one little sip is fine!". Seriously? You tell this to the infertile pg woman who is afraid too afaid to eat a hot dog, that a little alcohol is fine??? Get a clue...I'm so not a "normal" pregnant woman. Infertility forever changes the way you doesn't stop at getting's frustrating how many "fertiles" don't get that

  5. Jen soooo true!!! My cousin/bff doesn't even get it. When I said I was trying to stay away from caffeine, and that I wouldn't drink much of it while pregnant, she's like "Oh it doesn't hurt. I drank dr pepper all throughout pregnancy and Nathan is fine". I'm like, seriously?? You just DON'T know. They don't get it.

  6. Sorry but the pink room and the blue baby made my day! Ha ha! The babies sex is only found out by a sonographer and their bare eyes, humans make mistakes, so you would have to be insane to go colour the world pink! I'd be happy with either, so finding out the sex is something I'd never do.

  7. HA, that made my night reading that. Evil yes, but just a thorn in her side.
    Oh boohoo, what will she ever do. She has to redo the nursery b/c she's having a healthy baby boy! Bitch please......

  8. Loving your posts cherbear. You give voice to my thoughts. And I'd love to see her boy sleeping on beautiful pink beds. haha.

  9. I know someone with infertility this happened to and she was devastated And rightly so. Her entire pregnancy she bonded with her "daughter" spoke to "her" named "her" the nursery was done for a girl and at 38 weeks to preform an inversion her daughter became a son. And while healthy is the most important thing she did grieve the loss of the daughter she thought she was having. The dreams and plans of her daughter in dance school, sweet 16, late night girl chTs and watching her as a bride and mother herself. I felt so heartbroken for her. Maybe some of you don't get it but I do and a lot of other childless women with infertility do as well. I feel bad for your fb friend. I can't tell you that ur feelings are wrong because u feel them but I can say that they aren't very kind.

  10. Kelly I bet that was really hard for your friend...and especially as an infertile b/c I'm sure a lot of people told her what they are telling this girl..."just have another asap and maybe it will be a girl". This particular girl has accepted and moved on VERY quickly from what I have seen, so I wasn't trying to offend anyone in a similar situation. And I did say I feel bad for her--just not nearly as bad as I have felt for so many women who have miscarried or gone through years of infertility.

    Also the original point of this post was about someone recommending BEER to a pregnant woman(and the boy/girl thing a later footnote) let's not forget that ;)

  11. People asked me all the time if I missed alcohol when I was pregnant. I told them that the weekend before the IUI, I drank enough to carry for 9 months. Just in case.

    It's important to plan ahead.


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