This morning, my Facebook page was flooded with pictures of kids on their first day of school. At one point, everything on my home page was literally on that topic.
Why can’t I stop the urge to “do the math”? Where would I have been today if I didn’t have infertility?
If it had taken me a year to get pregnant, like a normal person, my child would be just over five years old. He or she would be starting Kindergarten today. Their picture might have been on that Facebook page.
Instead, my alarm went off as usual, I got ready and went to work.
Today is no different than any other day.
Except that I will not be logging onto Facebook if I can help it.
Why can’t I stop the urge to “do the math”? Where would I have been today if I didn’t have infertility?
If it had taken me a year to get pregnant, like a normal person, my child would be just over five years old. He or she would be starting Kindergarten today. Their picture might have been on that Facebook page.
Instead, my alarm went off as usual, I got ready and went to work.
Today is no different than any other day.
Except that I will not be logging onto Facebook if I can help it.
- Anonymous
Oh crap, that sucks. I am so glad that I have a bunch of old people friends who post about politics on facebook! (seriously never thought I'd be grateful about that!)
ReplyDeleteI think about that a lot. Most of my friends from HS have 3 or 4 children. The oldest of them all turning 8 this summer. As they all got pregnant right after graduation. They are all married to the guys they were with then.
ReplyDeleteWith as careless as I and my bf (at the time) were, we would have had a baby... And even though I am married to the man of my dreams now, I still wouldn't regret having had a kid then, if I was so damn infertile. I may have even had a child with my ex husband... Still, I'd rather have had that child too, instead of being super infertile.
I hate seeing all the back to school pics and most of all, all of the statuses of the parents complaining about homework... STFU!!!
I hear ya! A BIG reason why I cut my DB friend down. I just couldn't take all the updates and pictures. Give it a try - it's truly liberating!
ReplyDeleteSame thing here. I swear EVERYONE had school updates about their kids on FB this morning. On one hand, I wish I were the one sending my little one to school, but on the other hand, I look at some of these "friends" on FB and thank my lucky stars I haven't had to live the lives some of them have had with children. Most had kids when they were in or just out of high school and I know that couldn't have been as much fun as I had in my twenties! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher so the irony that I'm going back to school but have no kids of my own is not lost on me :(
ReplyDeleteThe good news is as soon as AF shows up this month we will be starting our first ivf cycle.
Yeah, I do the math game too. If things went off without a hitch, we'd have a 2 yr old by now. If all those 'pregnancy scares' (which in reality were annovulatory) were real pregnancies, we'd have at least a 5 year old by now.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to do...I'm taking comfort in the fact that, had I been pregnant when I wanted to, I'd have a little one right now...while I plan a BRAND NEW curriculum for a BRAND NEW grade. (Trying to stay positive is such a guessing game.) Stay strong! Our students keep us going...
ReplyDeleteugh, I struggle with those kid posts on FB, too. I have friends from high school with 14 year-olds now! We're almost old enough to be grandparents...it makes not being able to have kids yet really awkward for me. I tend to avoid them and spend more time with the friends we have that have babies or toddlers-still tough, but at least I don't feel so old and hopeless on top of being infertile!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel! I often think of how old our child would be would I have gotten pregnant right away. I would have a almost 5 year old!
ReplyDelete