I got the crowning glory of all ass-vice from my best friend (not a mother, never tried) last week. She said to me, "You know, it doesn't help you to crumble." Oh, believe me, I had a response, I had quite a few of them!
I was like, do you think I WANT to crumble? Do you think I WANT to not be able to see a PG woman or a baby without crying? Do you think I WANT to feel like my entire life is on hold? Or need to get my depression meds increased and add in a therapist? Do you think I wanted to be written up at work for this getting to me too much??
Since the day we started trying, that's the worst thing I've heard from someone who meant well.
Jessie
Jessie's Infertility Journal
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How horribly insensitive!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry a best friend said this to you. Once my mom told me, "You know, I just want to tell you to suck it up." O_O I was crushed that my own mother said this to me all because I wouldn't go to a baby shower.
ReplyDeleteBut being that present with your emotions is better than holding it in and blowing up at an unexpected moment. (((HUGS)))
Jessie, I think until a person goes through what you've gone through, they will NEVER truly get it.
ReplyDeleteIt HAS to be okay to crumble, because it's definitely not okay to hold all that emotion in.
And Jonelle, I cannot believe your mom said that to you!
Aww, I'm sorry! I was told today to just "not stress" regarding finding out yet ANOTHER friend was pregnant. WHATEVER!
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys, I really appreciate the support. I had another friend announce their pregnancy today, and I have a different friend who was telling me to suck it up until I had him read the letter to friends and family of infertiles that I found on someone else's blog and crossposted to mine.
ReplyDeleteugh. that kind of wording in wrong for ANY kind of reply. "You know, it doesn't help you to cry over your husbands death" or "You know, it doesn't help to worry about were you are going to sleep tonight since you lost your home"
ReplyDeletePeople are so clueless sometiems.