We recently had my husband's sister, brother-in-law and their 2 kids over. I "baby-proofed" as much as possible. Anything I left out I understood might get touched/get dropped/get broken. Just because I don't have kids, doesn't mean I'm a fucking idiot.
I knew my BIL was gonna say something. He acts as if he is the kid expert.
The evening was almost over, and one of his kids knocked something over. No big deal, we didn't make a big deal of it, we said the dogs make messes all the time and cleaned it up.
BIL says "Just wait till you have kids, your whole life and house is going to change" I looked at him and said "Yes, we will be very lucky to get that far" And he says "oh I know, Positive Thinking!".
1. I should have said "really? our whole life is gonna change? I didn't realize" and then look at my husband and say "Screw this, lets not have kids, BIL says it's hard"
2. Positive Thinking is not going to make me ovulate or make my husband ejaculate sperm.
I had a very hard time not saying 'fuck you dude, get out of my house".
This is my worst fear about living child free, assholes like my BIL saying things like "Your so lucky not to have kids" For the.rest.of.my.life.
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Ugh. I'm sorry. This is something that hits home for me. Not from a BIL, but from a "friend" who anytime they used to come over (with their two little boys) throws out the Just wait until you have kids line...even to go so far as to point out things in my home that will get broken if I leave them out. It took everything I had not to tell her to STFU and kick her out on her ass.
ReplyDeleteJust because their boys are terrors (writing in sharpie on their walls, breaking toys...) does not make her the authority on my future kids.
I'll be thinking of you and praying that you have the future you deserve.
UGH that is the worst. thing. ever. I know they are trying to make people who don't have kids feel better...but seriously, it just makes you that more of a douche. I don't think I would be having BIL over again for a long time. I'm thankful my SIL/BIL had infertility issues so they are at least sensitive {somewhat} to our situation.
ReplyDeleteWhen somebody says, "You are so lucky not to have kids" I want to respond, "yeah, they could end up to be just like yours."
ReplyDeleteI want kids so badly I just can't relate to those who don't want the ones they have already. I've had to hold my tongue more than once. I think it's an inch shorter as a result.
{{hugs}} you're not alone.
I soooo would have said "fuck you dude, get out of my house"!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to AMAZE me how ignorant people can be!
I too fear as you do, but at least we can throw in some justified zingers while we are at it! (I know that's not in any way a big comfort to our possible out comes, but I really try hard to latch on to anything that is even a rusty lining... let alone a silver one! LOL)
I hate that line so much. It is so f'ing condescending and offensive and hurtful all at the same time. Ick. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI hate that too. I think it's so patronizing when people say "Oh, you should see what it's like if you have kids!" Like they are the first ones ever to have to deal with having kids and the challenges it brings. Challenges that, at this point, I'd LOVE to have.
ReplyDeleteUgh I get this one all the time from my "expert" friends. I throw it back at them "Just wait till you actually get married..."
ReplyDeleteUgh! I hate those comments. "Well, you can have mine anytime you want." or when their kid is crying "You sure you want kids." A**holes!
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to hear the the "Fuck you dude get out of my house" and add a "Leave your messy kid here if you can't stand the changes in your house"
ReplyDeletethankububyenow
Oh god, my SiL and cousin say this to me ALL the time.
ReplyDeleteBe glad I don't have kids so we can go to the movies whenever we want. Or go out to eat, or go on vacations, blahblahblah.
Yeah, cause I'd MUCH rather go out to a movie than ya know, have a baby............