Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Shut up!!

A Facebook friend is pregnant with her second.  Who gets pregnant the month they plan it, BOTH times?  Ugh.

Well, today she posted:

I would really like to go skiing as soon as possible. Oh wait. I can't.

Shut up, just please, shut up.  Is that your biggest problem right now?  And you can't just sit there and be happy that you are knocked up so easily?  

I feel like my whole life is on hold.  I can't drink, ski, use meds without asking if it'd be ok IF I were to get pregnant, with no guarantee that I'll ever get pregnant.  I restrict myself, just in case.  Just in case my uterus decides to play nice.  Just in case.

Your life is on hold for a few more months, and then you're 'done' with your family.  So shut up.

Normally, this wouldn't bother me.  I'd just ignore it and my life would go on, but maybe it's my hormones, or maybe I'm stressed, but it just got to me.


  1. Ugh, how annnoying. Such a clueless fertile.

  2. What a bitch. Boo hoo... just sit there and rub your growing belly all of us would give anything for.

  3. what an annoying way to rub it in everyone's face.

  4. yeah rub it in the face of infertiles who have put their lives on hold for YEARS! Thanks facebook fertile.

  5. i'm very sorry that you ladies cannot attain that which you desire so desperately.

    i can't imagine what it must be like...i too have lost a pregnancy, but also i have been blessed with beautiful living children.

    one thing that i notice which makes me a little uncomfortable and sad is the anger and hate towards others encouraged and appreciated withing these walls.

    you are certainly free to say and feel as you do (this is YOUR space dammit, i know!), but there maybe should also come a time to understand that you cannot change the fuckwits we are surrounded by...we can only change ourselves.

    hate and anger take A LOT of energy out of your soul; just as you shouldn't be attacked, neither should the idiots...

    i am reminded by a post that i just read on another of my favourite reads "i am not being punished, i just haven't been rewarded yet".

    i hope you all get what you desire, but most of all i wish you love and kindness.


  6. Your right in the fact that hate & anger take a lot out of you. There is a lot of hurt & anger to be had with infertility.

    I do disagree with you in the fact that this website is not helpful. The anonymous submissions come to my inbox and I have to tell you, most people say..thank you for letting me vent.
    Thank you for letting me blow of this steam in a productive way. What’s the other option? To not be hurt by idiots? Impossible.

    The anger and hurt is going to happen, it's inevitable with the ups and downs and in-betweens of infertility. Expressing the anger and hurt here, in a forum where it will be read by others who completely understand, is in my humble opinion productive.

  7. yeah, you're right...you DO deserve the support and kindred spirits you find here.

    on the other hand, i suppose anyone will feel and/or react defensively if they interpret themselves as being grouped in with a bunch of idiots (or alternately, excluded).

    i guess that is the wonder and blessing of the internet...that everyone can ultimately find another person who can FEEL them...who KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS what they are dealing with, etc.

    it's just the anger and hurt...it makes me feel icky. and it never got me anywhere productive: just a one-way trip to making everyone else around me miserable.

    LOVE YOU michelle!

  8. The thing is, Princess Andy, we're all feeling the hurt and anger whether it helps us or not. None of us would choose to be feeling it if we had a choice. If we could choose, we'd all be happy and cheerful through our waiting process.

    Since we can't change having the hurt and anger, it helps to have a place to let it out where everyone understands, somewhere where it's safe to not be ok. Letting it out here means that I make the people around me who aren't dealing with it less miserable because I'm letting it out here instead of on them.

  9. You know this is the second time I have come across Princess Andy spouting that we need to stop being so angry and that she feels uncomfortable reading these sites. You know what i wish I could stop being angry but it is when people who have never expereienced infertility tell me they feel uncomfortable reading about my anger that makes me get so angry my head gets ready to pop off. Oh and here's a suggestion stop reading sites that deal with infertility if it makes you uncomfortable. here's another suggestion try having unexplained infertility that makes your doctors baffled as to why you aren't getting pregnant and then blithely tell you IVF is just a numbers game like I have billions of dollars to keep having a crack and then see people around you falling pregnant every friggin' five minutes and then you wonder if you will ever get to experience becoming a mother and then try and not be angry and sad. i would give anything to feel happy and every time i do I come across some smug fertile person telling me to relax. so go post on some mummy board and stay off the infertile board if you just dont get it ok. especially one that says STFU Fertiles. or try and offer a supportive ear and let us rant because it is our right to rant given all the stuff we have been through.


  © Blog Design by Giggly Girl Designs

Back to TOP