Wednesday, January 26, 2011

As promised....

I mentioned that I would post my cousin's pregnancy announcement from facebook.

Let me preface this with the 'story' of how DH and I found out.  We were about to head out to Hobby Lobby, and then DH gets a text from our friend.  (Uhm, cousin married a college friend of ours, after she got herself purposefully knocked up the first time....b/c she "can't swallow pills")

So just as we are leaving, DH gets a text, looks at his phone and says "Son of a bitch!"....
text reads: "I'm gonna be a dad again".  I didn't have my phone on me so DH shows me.  Commence crying.

Guess what? We didn't end up going to Hobby Lobby.  Instead, we got really wasted.  Alcohol is, after all, the only high point to being infertile, right??

DH ends up texting back and forth a little, and I kept telling him to stop because it was infuriating me just being reminded of the crap!

Well, we find out she literally just took the pregnancy test, oh about 20 minutes before the 'announcement'.  Of course, what did I expect, considering the FIRST time she got pregnant and they'd been dating for about 5 months, they told the whole family right away--through text of course--AND expected everyone to be happy about it!!??!

In this day and age, we get multiple forms of torture--they also announced on facebook right away:

Oh isn't dat jus speshul?!!!!    So not only does she announce it before seeing a doctor---and before the stick is even dry, she also speaks like a 14 year old child.   And these people can procreate.

In case you want to read more details about why they suck so much (and hear me bitch about what morons they are), I will direct to you THIS post on my blog.  Their back-story adds a whole other level to the fertile hatred.  Seriously, it will make you want to slap her more than you already do. 


  1. Dats a prty kewl post! NOT!!!!

  2. I'm not sure I could want to slap her any more, but I'm willing to try.
    I think the population is getting dumber because of people like that. An "adult" speaks like that, and we're surprised that kids can't spell anymore? Urgh... yet we can't procreate (despite the ability to use words like 'procreate.').

  3. *stabby stabby stabby stabby*

  4. I'm so appalled, that I can't even think of a witty comment...:)

  5. It would be very hard for me not to slap or stab this girl! It is so not fair!!

    btw...left you an award on my blog...

  6. I'm not sure what's worse the whole idea of them being pregnant -- again (read your blog) or the way they announced it. I weep for the future.

  7. I'm not sure if it was the situation or the butchered spelling that sickened me more. No, I'm sure it is the situation, the crappy *cutesy* spelling was like salt in the wound.

    Girls like this get their jollies off of making people like you and I feel worse than we already do (or than she does). The best way to get her goat would be to kill her with kindness. Subtly remind her of all the things you enjoy that she can't. Talk about the awesome drinks you just had, or all the coffee......unless she's one of these gems of a mother that doesn't care about her unborn child's safety more than her own comfort?

    I'm not sure I want to know if she is or I might have to really vomit.

  8. Lol, yeah I guess alcohol is the only good thing about being IF... sigh.. as sad as that is.
    Anyway... just the spelling alone makes me want to slap the crap out of her.

  9. just sucks that anyone can procreate!!

    I swear it the ones that shouldn't that always get knocked up the easiest...must be some sort of cruel joke the universe plays on us.

    I say Slap the "witch" or at imagine what it would be like to do it.

  10. @ Melissa,

    Actually, she is not much of a drinker (smirnoff ice is her fav...nuff said), she thinks wine is disgusting. She doesn't like coffee. She's pretty immature when it comes to food....she loves fast food and pretty much has "kid tastes" honestly.

    Her husband obediently (ie. DOORMAT) follows her rule of NOT drinking as long as she can't drink (even though, like I said, she's NOT a big drinker. And he's no alcoholic but I know he enjoys to have a beer every so often). This means another nearly 2 year stint of NO ALCOHOL for him....YUP, he can't drink when she's breastfeeding either. When she was BFing with her first and the 4 of us went out to eat, HE ordered a coke and DH and I had a beer. I said "you're not gonna order a beer?....Oh, that's right *buffoonish laugh* you're breastfeeding". I'm such an ass. LOL

    And last but not least, both DH and I were yelled at by her for CURSING while she was pregnant the first time. "because the baby can hear it". Back then we were not TTC so you can imagine that NOW we REAAAAALLY want nothing to do with her!

  11. Oh yeah! My other half has a cousin just like this, only she announced on FB the impending arrival of number SIX literally minutes after the test was positive and the very next morning the "mama needs a pickle" "Mama's baby is making her feel sick" "Oh how mama wishes she could have a beer right now!" And then a couple of days later a pic of all five with their hands on "mamas belly"... Okay, she's a big girl... but she's like 5 minutes pregnant and she's already starting with the belly pics? I blocked her instantly... ERG!


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