Just found out a few days ago that "the girl who's always pregnant" at work (that's what I've always called her) is pregnant, yet again. Surprise, surprise.
Apparently my department was the last to find out -- I can't say I was disappointed. (I had wondered if she was just getting fat b/c I thought I saw a pooch a couple weeks ago)
I ran into her in the bathroom, so it couldn't be avoided. I see her belly...and here is the little convo that followed:
me: "Oh, so I heard the news. Congrats" (ugh, it makes me cringe to say that to a fertile, sorry) **I hold up 4 fingers somewhat inquisitively**
fertile bitch: "thanks. yup, number 4"
me: "and how old is your oldest?"
fb: "four" ***with a smile that says, I get asked this all the time....I sure wish I weren't so gosh darn fertile, wow it's so crazy to be so fertile, maybe I can have my own tv show***
me: ............."well I guess they'll all be the best of friends"......(I make my way into the bathroom stall)...."or the worst of enemies"
And that was it.
Here's how it would have played out if I could say what i really wanted to say:
~~~
ME: "Oh hi, I heard you were pregnant....yet AGAIN. Have you ever heard of birth control?? This is your 4th pregnancy in the 4 years that I've been working here. I've been trying to have a baby for 2 years, spent 30 grand incidentally, and in that time you've gotten pregnant with your 3rd, had the baby, brought all 3 kids to my department to torture me, and now you're pregnant again. Needless to say I'm not going to use the "C" word because I'm an extremely bitter infertile. Have a nice day. Oh and if you change your mind about wanting to keep the kid, I'm totally willing to taking it off your hands"
FB: ***runs away and calls the ethics line***
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Lol... I also don't like saying congrats to extremely fertile women. Sure it makes me insensitive, but sorry if I don't think it's all that special that they're pregnant ONCE AGAIN w/ child #4, 5, whatever.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!! And so true. I think we work at the same place (kidding). Ugh ,4 in 4 yrs? Nuts.
ReplyDeleteUgh! That would be infuriating!
ReplyDeleteI nominated STFU for an award on my blog! Thank you for providing us a forum to vent! :-)
4 in 4 yrs! She must be the kind "that just needs to look at her partner to get knocked up". How does your office put up with her being away for maternity leave most of the time?
ReplyDeleteThat has to be unbelievably frustrating for you; it would be nice if the world was fair and kids went to the people who really want/would appreciate them.
ReplyDeleteThat said - and I know you're upset, truly - you're being kind of harsh on the woman considering she didn't do anything insensitive to you directly. Fertile bitch? She's just being. It's not like you walked in the bathroom and she immediately started complaining to you about being "pregnant AGAIN, oh golly dang, who needs another one? Oh well, I'll make sure to parade it and its siblings in front of you when it gets here!" You initiated the conversation.
But anyway, I really am sorry it was difficult for you. Best of luck to you.
LOL. ^^Only a fertile. :/
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