Sunday, March 13, 2011

Building a Baby

i am 31 and have been trying to conceive for 6 months, which is no time at all, i know.  Even though i've always really wanted children, being the stability needing Taurus that i am i waited until i had all my ducks in a row before i entertained the idea of ttc - university, stable job, house, get the picture. 

i work with a woman whom i also considered a good friend.  We vacationed together, she came to my (destination) wedding, we sought each other out for advice and to talk about our personal lives.  She is a couple years older than me and has a 14 year old and a 9 year old each from different fathers. She conceived both while on birth control.  She swore up and down that she did not want any more children.  i was married in August of this year an immediately began ttc.  Shortly before she was dating two men - her future fiance and her ex/father of her first child who in the past had beat her to a pulp and then was later incarcerated for the rape of another woman.  She got engaged in the fall.  At the time she had a IUD that had been in way too long and, because of a recent car accident, was causing her to hemorrhage.  After that she went on a month of birth control and then also began ttc (while drinking a bottle of wine every night).

In December we have a Christmas fun night (i'm a teacher).  The day before i had got my period and was quite upset.  She witnessed this first hand and played the part of consoling friend. Even though it was only cycle 5, my husband is in the military and was being sent thousands of kilometres away for training for 6 months in January.  Anyhow, she decided it would be a good idea to corner me at this function and abruptly announce "i'm pregnant, you know".  i was instantly in tears.  She kept talking and talking...don't worry, you will be pregnant, you ovulate, it's just my body i'm so fertile, it's my chance to have a child in a loving relationship.  i'm not known for having much of a filter and i said " You already have two.  And you didn't even want another child".  Not real gracious, i know.  However it was said out of pain, not malice.  When i got home i had an uppity facebook message waiting for me about how i'm so self absorbed and hurtful and her being pregnant isn't about was a doozy.  Needless to say i did not reply, although i was tempted to say "Thanks for kicking me while i was down.  Go to hell."

The next day at work another woman who works closely with us and has also been ttc for 2 years (she's in the process of IVF) told me that Princess Fertile has been telling her all about her pregnancy symptoms.  Over the next several weeks she continued to loudly complain in our presence about how she couldn't button her pants, how her boobs were so heavy, and trot around smug as a bug (while pushing her stomach out, mind you).  The best by far is when she showed up late and said to the woman proceeding with IVF that she had to pull over to be sick twice and to cut her some slack because she's "building a baby".

You think you know someone...

i do however want to stress that even though i feel sad that i'm not yet pregnant i mean no disrespect to those that have been LTTTC.  i can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be and i admire the wit and strength of those that contribute to the website/blogs.  What makes me the most upset about the whole situation is that she's rubbing our LTTTC coworker's face in it.

Submitted by Anonymous


  1. Oh. My. God. What in the hell is wrong with that woman? I'm a LTTCer and that woman is going out of the way to be malicious and hurtful. I don't even have words...

  2. I want to strangle this woman. Ugh!

  3. The evil side of me wants to punch her in the face. I feel sorry for you and the LTTTCer :-(

  4. Wow. I would cut her out of my life. She sounds like a real gem. I hope that your friend gets pregnant very soon, and you too. I know how scary those first few months TTC can be: the emotions of each AF are new and you're not used to dealing with the emotions yet. Combined with your DH leaving she really did kick you when you were down.


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