The right way to tell an infertile your happy news

I got this email today from a wonderful, thoughtful, caring friend who has just reached the end of the first trimester of her 2nd pregnancy... I can't help but be incredibly happy for her, considering that I have struggled for years with fertility issues and am now facing my 40's alone and childless, having just recently separated from my husband of 7 years:



"This may not be a good time to share this with you but we wanted you to be one of the first to know as you are very important to us. I am pregnant with an estimated due date in early September. I’m sure with everything you have been through it must be really hard to hear this kind of news, I would quite understand if you want to lock yourself in a room and scream at how unfair life can be but please don’t stay there too long, I’ll miss you! We have shared the news with Jordan* and although initially quite bemused he now talks about all the things he will teach the baby to do. "

* Name changed to protect identity


submitted by B

Time for my Altrasound!

The last few months, since she and her husband separated, she's been posting about a) how she doesn't need a man and b) how difficult it can be to be a single mother.  And then there's this:

You go girl.  You have that Altrasound.

Who's Your Sperm Donor?

No.  You're sperm donor.  Let's review.  You knock up your 17 year old girlfriend, then break up when the kid's a year old.  You get back together for a visit while your relations are in town visiting you, resulting in, guess what, another baby!  After this drama ensues, including being arrested on charges of assaulting the babymomma. Then, when that baby is nearly a year old, you get back together with the babymomma again and move halfway across the country; leaving them where they are, until you can save up enough for an apartment to bring them to. 

And not to make this about the babymomma, but I think my remaining respect for her when she was complaining that she couldn't afford diapers for the baby because you were such a deadbeat.  Does that make you the ass for not providing or her for letting herself have a second child with you after seeing what a crap father you were for the first one.  And getting back together for a third time...I look forward to meeting Mistake #3 in 8 months. 

And forever more when I hear people complain about the homosexuals destroying the sanctity of marriage by using that word to describe their legal coupledom, I think, well, this guy can use the term "daddy," to describe his relationship to two children he has avoided for most of their life and he's certainly done less to earn it than they have.

This is (seriously) a post in response to a couple of infertile women telling how they got their BFP on a birth board. If only we could all be so naive and live in that non-existent world where the sun always shines and unicorns fart rainbows and poop cheeseburgers. It's a scientific fact (at least to her) that since she didn't try and got a BFP means everyone can and obviously infertiles are just impatient and hate surprises.

Okay maybe that was a little over dramatized and insensitive on my part, I mean who am I kidding? We all know unicorns don't poop cheeseburgers, they poop double cheeseburgers.

Meanless Birthday

All my cousins got pregnant and married ASAP and became SAHMs. They are all baby-obsessed. The fact that I'm over 30 and married 2 years with no baby causes much gossip/speculation. Most of the family knows we've struggled with conceiving for our entire marriage. My last birthday fell a few days after I got the negative result from a failed IUI. Despite that, I was feeling pretty good and focused on enjoying myself until one of the Fertile Myrtles dropped her little passive-aggressive bomb.




**The red edit in her obnoxious reply is my last name, ie - " . . . the pitter-patter of little Smiths?"

I almost wrote back, "Got your message loud and clear, you cow. I'll go back to not celebrating my meaningless, baby-free birthday now. Thanks."

Childless whining

This was posted on STFU parents, but I think it is equally appropriate on this site. It pissed me off to no end (and made me cry a little) when I first read it and If I knew this woman I would probably punch her in the face. It's in the attachments, and I think it is quite possibly the most offensive thing ever not only to infertiles but people without children by choice.

See the original post here:  http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/20860110792/whining-and-moaning-baby-haters

BABBIES!

I'm trying not to assume everyone is a complete moron, but when you can't figure out how to pluralize "baby," and you're inches from having one, you need to take a moment to remember that these babbies or baby's or whatever they are, depend on you to be the smart one who educates them. They're counting on you to help them get through school. Now I admit, you have a couple of years to figure out that you turn baby into babies, by a standard rule where the "y" becomes an "ies," but haven't you already HAD a few years to figure that out? The apostrophe is for possession. I have yet to figure out how the apostrophe became the go-to guy for plurals.

Maybe while I was preparing myself for having a baby (because I'm clearly not ready or I would have one, right?), by learning proper grammar and working on my spelling, I should have been doing whatever the hell you were doing.