BABBIES!

I'm trying not to assume everyone is a complete moron, but when you can't figure out how to pluralize "baby," and you're inches from having one, you need to take a moment to remember that these babbies or baby's or whatever they are, depend on you to be the smart one who educates them. They're counting on you to help them get through school. Now I admit, you have a couple of years to figure out that you turn baby into babies, by a standard rule where the "y" becomes an "ies," but haven't you already HAD a few years to figure that out? The apostrophe is for possession. I have yet to figure out how the apostrophe became the go-to guy for plurals.

Maybe while I was preparing myself for having a baby (because I'm clearly not ready or I would have one, right?), by learning proper grammar and working on my spelling, I should have been doing whatever the hell you were doing.

How many months left?

We're modeled on STFUParents and whenever there's a complaint about one of their posts, B, the owner, always removes it.

Me too.

There's a big difference

I went out to get more OPK's.

While in line the woman in front of me left the line to grab one more item. She came back with one blue package of an OPK.

The cashier said to her "that's not a pregnancy test, the pregnancy tests are in a purple package".

The customer said "what's the difference?".

The cashier said "those are to tell you when you're ovulating".

The customer, standing beside her about-8-year-old child: *blank stare*.

Meanwhile I'm standing there supressing my mean  thoughts and glares at the customer who is oblivious to one of the many processes of trying to get pregnant.

The customer goes back to switch her OPK box for a HPT box.

Me: When it's my turn at the till, I put down the 8 boxes of OPK's from my basket and I say to the cashier "I know the difference".

Submitted by Anonymous

Hairdresser Stupidity

My infertility story:  had a hysterectomy in Nov '08 due to adenomyosis, and I had my right ovary removed in June '10 due to endometriosis.

Yesterday I went to go get a haircut.  The chick who was cutting my hair was making tons of small talk with me, and asked me what I did for the July 4th weekend.  Without thinking I said that I spent it recovering from having surgery.  She asked what kind of surgery and I told her to remove my left ovary due to endo.

She then asked about endo, so I told her about it.  Then she asked if I could still have kids, and I replied no, because I had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago.

She had more questions about endo, and then the fertility thing was brought up again.

She said that I was lucky that I wouldn't accidentally get "preggers."

Yeah.

Now I should have told her how much therapy and anti-depressants I've had to take because I will never get "preggers" but I just let it go. 

Sonja
www.mudandlotus.com

Shower Hell

This weekend I had a babypalooza shower stretch for two of my best friends. I was helping host both of them. I was in surprisingly good spirits until Mrs. Piggy sat down next to me.
All I heard was "Blah blah blah blah blah BABY Blah blah blah why waiting? blah blah blah blah" coming out of her mouth.

Then she realizes I am the mommy to be's Best Friend. She leans in and asks all syrupy sweet how southern Belles do--- "So when is your little one due? A Halloween baby?"

*my mother starts to choke on her brand new teeth"
I say "Nope, I am not pregnant- just fat!"
*my poor mother is kinda gagging her teeth out of her throat*

STFU FERTILE

She didn't stop either. "well surely you are trying right? You are what? 35, 36? (NO I'm 33!)
"then I would really not wait any longer as it looks your body ages fast" WTF?

My mother finally got her teeth back in and composed enough to jump into the conversation and deftly spill her drink and made me go get it.


GRRRRRRRR. I wish I had a super IF power that caused duct tape to come out of my fingernails so I can SHUT THESE FERTILEs UP!!!