Showing posts with label facebook fail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook fail. Show all posts

Friday, May 4, 2012

Meanless Birthday

All my cousins got pregnant and married ASAP and became SAHMs. They are all baby-obsessed. The fact that I'm over 30 and married 2 years with no baby causes much gossip/speculation. Most of the family knows we've struggled with conceiving for our entire marriage. My last birthday fell a few days after I got the negative result from a failed IUI. Despite that, I was feeling pretty good and focused on enjoying myself until one of the Fertile Myrtles dropped her little passive-aggressive bomb.




**The red edit in her obnoxious reply is my last name, ie - " . . . the pitter-patter of little Smiths?"



I almost wrote back, "Got your message loud and clear, you cow. I'll go back to not celebrating my meaningless, baby-free birthday now. Thanks."

Monday, April 16, 2012

Childless whining

This was posted on STFU parents, but I think it is equally appropriate on this site. It pissed me off to no end (and made me cry a little) when I first read it and If I knew this woman I would probably punch her in the face. It's in the attachments, and I think it is quite possibly the most offensive thing ever not only to infertiles but people without children by choice.

See the original post here:  http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/20860110792/whining-and-moaning-baby-haters

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

BABBIES!


I'm trying not to assume everyone is a complete moron, but when you can't figure out how to pluralize "baby," and you're inches from having one, you need to take a moment to remember that these babbies or baby's or whatever they are, depend on you to be the smart one who educates them. They're counting on you to help them get through school. Now I admit, you have a couple of years to figure out that you turn baby into babies, by a standard rule where the "y" becomes an "ies," but haven't you already HAD a few years to figure that out? The apostrophe is for possession. I have yet to figure out how the apostrophe became the go-to guy for plurals.

Maybe while I was preparing myself for having a baby (because I'm clearly not ready or I would have one, right?), by learning proper grammar and working on my spelling, I should have been doing whatever the hell you were doing.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Facebook Fertile

A friend on facebook had an interesting status today. The poor girl hasn't conceived for a whole 3 months. I'm so sad for her. It must be devastating to wait that long. I've only been waiting 4 years. Also, maybe if she relaxes and has lots of sex, it will happen. Sheesh. I didn't think of that. See below.

A friend wrote on facebook: wish things always went how I wanted them to. Third time's a charm?

Comments: Baby making? Carson probably would like a little brother or sister to play with. :)

Friend: Yep, this will be the third month since going off the pill. We conceived right away with Carson, so things aren't going like I thought they would. Perhaps I will get an awesome bday gift next month?? :) We shall see!

Comment: That's exciting. Have you been taking prenatals?
Sometimes they say if a person relaxes it will happen. :)
Same with having sex every other day or every two days.
But every book and website about conceiving...has their own idea about the baby ...making process.
I hope this month is the month that it happens for you too. Good luck

Friend: I take a multi-vitamin daily (usually). I've received a lot (thanks Terri) of helpful tips to conceive. lol I figure, it happend once, it'll happen again. Also, the longer it takes, the more time I'll have for maternity leave! :)

Submitted by Anonymous

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Best Job in the World

So i have attached the picture of a FB post of a friend of mine. Here's my story:
Maybe if I wasn't a 30 year old Highly emotional Infertile (without kids) this wouldn't bother me but they are comparing
being a mom to and exorcist and a barista! really?... Not Cool! in any form!

Personally I believe there is not a Job on this planet comparable to being a mom!

"Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can't make a rainbow without a little rain."

-Anonymous

<3 Infertile in Mesa

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My life as a mother

From a "friend" who went through IVF to get pregnant.  How soon they forget...
Yes..my FB statuses will now mostly revolve around my life as a mother and my twins. If you don't like it, delete me.
  • and 26 others like this.

    •  LMAO! someone complained!!!
      5 hours ago ·

    • Who would give you crap about that?
      5 hours ago ·

    • Just a heads up ;)
      5 hours ago ·

    • Totally agree being moms are our life!!! I love posting the funny stuff Edyn does
      5 hours ago ·

    • I understand that! What else is there to talk about then our beautiful children!
      5 hours ago ·

    • C ya! Lol
      5 hours ago via Facebook Mobile ·

    • Ummm really?! I cant believe someone would dare to complain about that!
      5 hours ago ·

    •  I'm with u autumn! I hardly remember what life was like before I had a baby, n he's only 9 months! Keep posting pics of those beautiful baby girls and continue speaking ur mind!!!
      4 hours ago ·

    •  I agree!! It's truly a blessing to have a baby and it is so awesome! So glad that I have FB to make me feel like I'm a normal mother!!
      3 hours ago ·
    • Amen Sister!
      2 hours ago ·

  •  

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

This was posted as a note on fb by a girl I went to HS with.  She had her kids very shortly after we graduated.  I normally don't have a big issue with her but had to repost this for all of you.  I didn't respond to it but even though I'm now 19weeks pregnant I still spend every day in terror that it will all be taken away from me and that I will never get to experience any of the things mentioned in this "joke". Comments in italic are my personal thoughts...and let me start by saying that it's really annoying to assume that if you don't have kids you must NEVER have been exposed to them before and have NO CLUE what you're in for...

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Did you think kids didn't need food?

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
 Thanks I will enjoy making you feel a fraction of the lack of confidence I feel thanks to infertility.
Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
I guess I can "sort of" give them this one...though (and call me delusion infertile if you must) if you child is waking up that often at 3-5 years old it may be time to see what the cause is...

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
meh...whatever

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.
 this one just made me laugh cause all I could picture was the octopus lol.  P.S. I've dressed children before...it's not THAT complicated.
Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
I don't have kids and I still can't afford a BMW...nor is my little Kia spotless.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
that last line is just plain ridiculous and offensive...I would love to see parents try this experiment and tell me it's the same as their human child...if they can't succeed should their children be taken away from them?

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.


You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
 Again, I've fed babies before...it's nothing like this
Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
I already know these.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
 fine I'll give them this one...only because that's the kind of kid I was...but I'd still give anything to hear mommy repeatedly than to never hear it in my life.
Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
 same response as lesson 10...
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
I didn't laugh (ok except at that octopus image lol)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Add as Friend" Facebook FAIL

A Twitter friend and fellow IFer Al shared this with us on Twitter a week or so ago:

My obnoxious fertile friend's unborn baby's facebook profile has 82 friends. I'm not one of them.

Uhm WHAT?!?!

There is NO WAY I would be one of them either!

It's just a bit much for me, honestly.

Sharing at this now is perfect timing to also share this post about FB pregnancy announcements, or this follow up post about comments received. Facebook is such pain in the arse!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The newest Facebook "re-post"

We have all had to survive through "Daughter Week" and "Son Week" and all the other "kids" weeks - they seem to happen every other week, don't they??

Just in case you haven't seen the latest one yet, you can be prepared. I literally was reading this with my mouth hanging open. The friend that posted it has 2 children, doesn't want anymore and her husband is deployed. I totally bought into it. Ugh.

is EXPECTING!! I know, I know, it's crazy isn't it? I can't believe it myself. I wasn't going to post this until it was official. I mean who would have guessed that we are expecting !! Yup it's official.. We are expecting *snow* thursday night and again friday!! Re-post if you have any sense of humor!!

I did not repost. Apparently I have no sense of humor.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Pregnant in the Winter

       Status:
being pregnant in the wintertime is hazardous to your health. 'nuff said. 7 month pregnant woman's general warning (butt out Surgeon General!)


Ugh!!  I just don’t even have a witty comeback…

Loving your blog, just subscribed a few days ago.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

True Love

I love your blog... a few days after I found it my friend posted this as her facebook status and it made me think of you all :):


I wish my daughter would not kick me so much it kinda hurts im so glad I can have kids I feel bad for people who cant they wont ever know what true love is

wow. just wow. so because you are unable to conceive you are incapable of love? wow. keep in mind she is pregnant with her second child, by accident and the baby daddy is in jail. good job honey.

Submitted by Anonymous

Monday, December 20, 2010

Facebook Pregnancy Annoucement

I found out three days ago that my supposed best friend is 7 weeks pregnant.

On her Facebook wall she had a couple of "likes" - one for a baby stroller/pram and another for the Essential Baby website (in Australia).

I knew she and her husband were TTC so I became suspicious and did a Google search for my friend using her nickname. To my shock, two baby/pregnancy websites came up and I knew it was my friend who had been posting on the pregnancy forums. She got her BFP two weeks ago and has told her family and some friends and work colleagues, but not me. I'm her "best" friend!

Having been a long term TTC'er (5 years, 4 miscarriages), I thought she would have had the grace to break it to me before I could find out for myself.

Also, this "friend" sent me a rather shitty email having a go at me for not congratulating her.

Submitted by Belinda

Monday, December 13, 2010

Another Terrible Status

Aside from the GLARING spelling/grammar errors ... what about those of us who choose to have a child, but whose bodies don't cooperate with that decision?


Submitted by Anonymous

Monday, November 22, 2010

Vote for my kid!

This is a message I received yesterday from someone on my FB list.

Subject: Your child could be the Gerber Generation's next star!

Hi, It will be great if you can take a minute to vote for JHXY (name replaced). Here is the link and search criteria will be "JHXY" and/or city "Mt. Juliet". It is a 2 step process. Once you vote for him, it will automatically generate an email to your id, and you will have to open that email and click on the same day to complete your vote! Thank you so much.

What ticked me off was:
a) this person is has never before contacted me for a casual hi hello. Now she messages me because she needs my vote

b) I've never met her son, what makes her think I'll find him cute?

I understand that she thinks her son should be Gerber's next generation star (if I had a son or daughter, I'd probably think so too). But that doesn't mean she can mass email people on her friends list for votes!



Submitted by Keya

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Some calls you Mama

This is my aunt's FB status (my aunt, whose three children are a) an alcoholic, 2) divorced FOUR TIMES with kids by each husband and 3) unemployed at 27 and living off my aunt and uncle):


When life gets hard and you feel like giving up, just remember you are never alone and you mean the world to someone... that someone calls you Mama...

Well, fuck you too. I am never going to have children, thanks to a jacked up uterus. Guess I'm alone and I don't mean the world to anyone.

Submitted by Anonymous

Monday, November 8, 2010

Time Change

Nothing is safe.. not even Daylight Savings Time


Submitted by Anonymous

Friday, November 5, 2010

Honeymoon Baby?

Here's a good one. The couple was just married last Saturday and their family is already starting with the baby stuff. They left on their honeymoon Monday and on Tuesday (the bride's birthday) they were getting these ridiculous messages on their wall.


Submitted by Anonymous

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Right now, they ARE my babies

With Halloween coming up this weekend, I ordered costumes online for my two dogs.

When they got here, I put them on my dogs and, using treats for bribery, took some photos of them.

I posted a photo of the two of them on my facebook page. An aunt (who while she may not know the specific details, knows we've had "trouble" ttc) commented: "You have too much time on your hands!"

Really? Is that what you are going to tell my sister when she posts pictures of her two year old in his costume? Is that what you will tell the parents who bring their kids in their fifty dollar costumes trick or treating to your door?

Oh, and for the record? If we finally DO get pregnant and have babies, I probably will STILL take pictures of my dogs in costume at Halloween. Maybe I'll even buy a matching one for the kid.

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http://breakatthebend.blogspot.com

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