Monday, January 17, 2011
FB Pregnancy Announcement The Aftermath
You posted about my situation here http://stfuferts.
As you read this please bear in mind that I have endured 5 years of TTC heartache including 4 miscarriages, then depression and suicidal thoughts followed later - all caused by my inept ovaries and losing my babies.
Well I'd like to update you on the latest with my "friend" whose pregnancy news I discovered on Facebook.
She claims to have tried emailing me to tell me about her BFP the emails kept bouncing back because she typed the wrong address. I've had the same email address for years, it is the ONLY one I use to email stuff to her. But according to her, I had been avoiding her so she just "assumed" that I had received her email and was too upset to reply. Perhaps a PM on Facebook, or a phone call or a text message asking me if I'm okay wouldn't have gone astray, but as I'm overseas she never initiates contact, it is always ME who has called or texted her.
She claims she has "worked hard to get to where she is in her life" - sorry, but TTCing for 11 months does not constitute hard work, by any LTTTC'ers standards she had it fucking easy! All she did was go off the pill and pop a few pregnancy vitamins each day, that's hardly what I'd class as having worked hard.
On the one hand, she claims that she was concerned for me. But now "she's afraid that my bitterness is too much for her to cope with". Yes, I'm gutted that she's had it so easy falling pregnant when she's done nothing to get her body prepared for a safe, healthy pregnancy. Whereas, I worked so hard on my fitness to prepare myself and then endured 4 miscarriages.
According to her, I need to "get some perspective and get rid of the chip on my shoulder and get help". A very low blow considering that she knows exactly how much counselling I have already been through for my fertility issues.
She claims that she has always given "spades of compassion" to me and has despaired for my situation (and I have given the same back to her when she was at her lowest and needed my help). So where are her spades of compassion now that I am hurting?
So, my journey through TTC hell has been swept aside and dismissed. Obviously she has NO comprehension of how badly my miscarriages and failure as a woman have impacted on my self esteem and my emotional state, if all she can say is that I need to "get rid of the chip off my shoulder". Can she kick me any deeper in the guts?